Cabbage

The CEO has put me in charge of today's Morning Meeting. That's right, I am a Guest Blogger. Why has it taken so long for anyone to ask me to be a Guest Blogger?

First, I'd like to thank the CEO for making sure that I'm comfortable here. I found my dressing room with the star on the door that read "Mist 1" and the fruit basket was a lovely touch.

Monday, I wrote a post about my grandpa. The CEO has suggested that perhaps this is not the right look for my blog. People that visit my blog, want to read about my slightly slutty life. I blog about vibrators and panties and dating and wine and shoes and my a$$. He has asked that I tell a story about Grandpa here on The Morning Meeting. Here, is my favorite story about my grandpa.

Grandpa grew up in the Great Depression. It was a sin to waste food. That lesson stuck with him throughout his life.

After Grandpa retired, he found that he enjoyed cooking. He always made a dish to go with dinner. It never quite fit the meal, and sometimes, it wasn't very good (i.e. prunes in tuna salad), but it was a chance to spend more time with Grandma. Grandma lived in the kitchen. She had done so for years.

His specialty was cole slaw. It was creamy and the cabbage was cut just right. Not too fine. Just right. When he got the taste for his cole slaw, it took a powerful hold on him. He set off for the store to purchase some cabbage.

In the produce department, all the cabbages were too large. He only needed half of a large cabbage for his cole slaw. He found an employee and asked to purchase a half of a cabbage.

"The cabbages are sold whole, Sir."

"I really only need a half a cabbage for my cole slaw," Grandpa protested.

"Then use half and throw the rest away," the employee replied.

Grandpa gave him a brief history of the Great Depression. The man paid little attention to Grandpa's lesson and informed him that it wasn't a waste as cabbages were $0.49 apiece. Grandpa asked to see the Produce Manager.

The employee stalked off with Grandpa behind him. Bursting into the Produce Manager's office, the employee said, "Some jerk-off wants to buy a half a head of cabbage."

My grandfather cleared his throat.

Surprised, the employee said, "and this fine gentleman has agreed to buy the other half!"

Mist 1