"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
Henry David Thoreau
I keep reading and hearing in discussions that people don't know what they want out of life. I throw my two cents in by adding that I want more. A lot more. I don't want to be specific because I really don't want to limit myself. It's one of the reasons I don't like memes, whatever they are. Asking where I'd like to go is really the same as asking me where I'd like to go today. Today, somewhere warm, let's go to Hawaii and hit the beach and have some drinks. But I digress.
I have a really good friend in California who is 27. She really wants to be married. I can't figure out if it's because she wants a companion, or she wants children, or she thinks that's what is expected of her. Ten minutes later, she will explain that she doesn't have a clue what she wants to do, but she is positive that she wants to be out of debt including her college debt. She also wants a house in Ventura, California. None of these are "things I want to do with my life" as she has been working at temp jobs since she got out of school and hasn't picked a career yet.
This little composite ought to sound familiar. Unless you graduated from college and went to a school learn a profession such as law or dentistry, etc., most people end up in business somewhere, and it's pretty hit or miss. Some of you might have gone into Education, and gone into the Public Education System somewhere. If so, unless you are in a University, you don't have the time to blog.
I wonder how people find what they like doing, and make it a part of their life, since we spend so much time at work, more than any other endeavor we do? Any ideas?
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21 comments:
I figure most people don't find what they want. They have no direction, little guidence and are stunted by their ideal, morality, traditions, self esteem...
However, the few people I have witnessed who have found what and they are good at and lucky enough to find a market for their talents, have rocketed into a personal success arena I can only describe as enviable.
i identify greatly with your cali friend. i felt very much behind when i was 27, even when i was 32-35.
i always wanted to be an artist...until i realized i didn't want to be starving. figured i'd be practical - so i decided to work in business/accounting. worked out well, but it wasn't my calling. still don't know what my calling is...i hope to find out one day.
You know, Jefe, I think it's equally important to know what you DON'T want.
I've taken a lot of twisty paths including bartendress, cosmetology school student, flight attendent, factory worker, receptionist, etc. etc. etc.
I don't think any of them helped me figure out what I should do next, but they all helped me recognize things that I NEVER want to do again, such as drink scotch. It's gross.
That probably won't help your friend, though.
I love what I do. I am, of course, unemployed, but I have finally found something that I am really good at.
Do I have to like what I do? Can't I just do it and then use the rest of my life to do stuff that I like?
Olives- you're onto something here, I wish you'd tell us more
Rebecca- I hear this from artists all the time, they can't figure out how to make a living from their art. I assume you have kept at your art.
Val- you get more and more interesting the more I see of you. You are the essence of the more I know you the more I like you. You keep trying things, and therein lies the key.
Mist- you're amazing, I want to see where this goes. I am starting to form an idea, makes me dangerous. I like being dangerous. And Mist, you have more talent than I have ever dreamed of having. Just so you know.
A friend of mine has been encouraging me to go to university, and although the plan sounds good on paper, and someday I may do so, at this point I am happy with the job I am doing. I am one of the lucky few who actually likes my job, and I like the people I work with. I'm in no hurry to make a change.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, as they say.
I am still developing my talents. I can floss while driving. I drive a 5-speed. It's very exciting. Also, you should see the thing that I can do with my big toe.
Some of us figure it out, some of us flounder. I don't have any answers. I just want to see what Mist can do with her big toe.
There should be a lot of ideas for blog posts if you're thinking bout this. I want to see what Mist can do with her big toe too. Want to bet she comes up with something good.
I am tremendously lucky to have stumbled (by the way of my own surgeries) into a career that I adore. Spending a large amount of my time working is truly a joy. As for the other stuff, I start with finding people I like and doing stuff with them. I've come to enjoy quite a few hobbies this way. But mostly, I enjoy spending the time with the people I enjoy being with. Time is the one thing you don't get back. More money can be made, more "stuff" can be acquired, but you can't make more time.
I think Mist should have to post a video clip about the toe. I've consulted my toes and they do nothing but wear polish well.
I agree with wanderinggirl...Altho I don't exactly hate what I'm doing, it's something I kind of fell into. I didn't pursue my profession...That said, I try to find the joy in it all by being with people I'm drawn to and either like or admire. That way work is a little less tedious for me. Although I do some creative stuff at my job....it does get boring. IN a nutshell, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Peace
Figuring out what you want is probably the most difficult bit. Sometimes we know but are too scared to act on it, or like you said about your friend, do something because it's expected of us. I've done both of those and finally decided to do what I want. When I moved cross country to attend school here, a few people I know actually told me that they wish they could do something like that. I told them that they can. "oh no. my family is here" or whatever else was the reasoning. They couldn't comprehend that they do have a choice...it just involves some give.
You know, it's a bit of trial and error. The key is to take every opportunity and if it's not right change your mind and try something else. I would never have dreamed up this job I'm doing now in a million years but here's where I ended up and I'm thrilled with it. May not be forever, sure I'll get bored at some point but the world is my oyster. Humans think they know what they want, but what we want isn't always best for us so I try not to leave too LITTLE to chance. Chance is more fun!
You people have foot fetishes.
I agree it is best NOT to know exactly what you want … All I know is that I need to get the hell out of this damn snow .. THAT I KNOW !
It's all a matter of balls - having enough of them to leap into your dreams. Works for me - although I confess to still being scared shitless a lot of the time...
Puss
I find it challenging to not let what I do define who I am. It's easy to do. I have to constantly remind myself that making money is merely a means to an end, it is not the most important thing. It isn't who I am.
Before I got married, I told my wife that I couldn't promise her riches, but that it would never be dull or boring. I asked her this morning if she had EVER been bored in the marriage. she got this horrified look on her face and said that there have been time that she has prayed for a little dull and boring. I think I'll write the next post now. It's sort of a continuation.
If I'm doing something that makes me lose all track of time...I need to do more of that. Then I need to figure out how to make it pay my mortgage. Life, for me, is all about those moments of transcendence.
Cruel question, CEO. I've sometimes wondered what heaven would be like--I tend to imagine it as endless possibilities, information, and resources, but few conclusions, constructions, or absolutes. It's the freedom and the ability to create your own world, but the work of that creation is left to you.
Your posts are kicking butt! Awesome stuff :)
I had a profession. In Accounting. Long story how I chose it but it was well-researched and planned. From the time I was 4 years old I knew what I wanted out of life and did it. I'm working on the last part now actually, which is sort of freaking me out because I'm only 42. I don't know what comes next because I didn't plan anything else. So a new career beckons, if i can manage it (my illness gets in the way). I'm thinking Child Therapy for Trauma. I never should have been a Corporate Finance Controller. I have too much feeling for people. It damn near killed me.
So, that's my story.
Never did understand people who couldn't just pick something. I mean, get an education at least, in something.
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