Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Grace's Farewell

A very close, dear, personal friend sent the flowers and vase next to Grace's ashes in the box and her paw print in front of the box. The flowers arrived the day after the ashes came home. I have shown you the flowers today in the second shot after they have grown for a week, and the flowers the day they came. The lady, and I do mean lady, who sent them had lost a dog a few years back and couldn't face having another dog because of the wrenching heart break that comes from losing one.

It doesn't take long, when you look into their eyes, and they look back to see they have feelings too. You can see love, you can see fear. They are totally dependent on you. It doesn't take long, and the longer you are together, the stronger the bond.

We thought we had beat the toxo, it had been over a month. Judy put in fifteen times the effort I did. Grace was well for almost two weeks before she relapsed, and then it was the vet hospital. And they couldn't figure it out. House is a tv show, not real life. I have to fight the feeling of failure when you lose a 16 month old cat. After all, exceptionally bright graduate students are supposed to be able to solve almost any problem there is. I have to give up this Superman Syndrome crap.

The other tiny problem has been that I'd normally take my anger out to the quarry and beat the crap out of a couple of boulders with a sledge hammer. As I have gotten older, the hammer has dropped in weight from the traditional 30 pounds to a more manageable 8 pounds, much to the relief of the boulders. It's one of the saner things I do to deal with grief. Since the sacral-lumbar puncture failed, I wasn't able to go out breaking rocks, it has taken me a bit longer to finish grieving. I generally play the last two for myself. Thanks for stopping by. Happy New Year.

Handel - Messiah - Hallelujah - Ambrosian singers

John Denver Sweet Surrender

Amazing Grace - Judy Collins and the choir

Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the Sky (High Quality)

Good bye, baby.


Cynnie said...

I have a 17 year old dog i have to put down soon ..
I dread it

The CEO said...

Hi Cynnie, I am so sorry to hear that. Feel free to write, I'll be here for you. In the meantime, relish the time you have, it's precious. It's nice meeting you, do come back.

Wicked H said...

Much love to you and Judy. Wishing all of us a Healthy, Happy, Prosperous New Year.

I am content knowing that our furry kids that are up in heaven are having a grand ole time. Doesn't make me miss them any less.

Hugs all around.

(You were right, the flowers are gorgeous, a fitting tribute to Grace)

WanderingGirl said...

Perfect flowers and perfect music!

I can only imagine that Grace preferred the time she spent with you, however short, over the alternative she was facing when you took her.

The CEO said...

Hi Wicked, I think you're right about our friends, the place is sometimes called Rainbow Bridge. There's a poem...

Hi Tiff, of course you're right, I just needed to formally say good bye. Thanks for your help and support.

katherine. said...

the flowers are lovely...and were a lovely thought for her to send them.

a 30 pound hammer. wow.

Echomouse said...

I'm so sorry Monty. The flowers are beautiful.

I think I found the following video at Odat's blog when I was grieving. Appropriately, it's called Grace. It's a beautiful song and now, it makes me think of Mom, Odat's hubby, and your cat Grace.


This too shall pass. I know that sounds stupid but it's true. There is no escaping the pain unfortunately. It just takes time.

I've still got you and Judy in my thoughts every day.

Glamourpuss said...

Poor Gracie, I hope she's chasing mice and lapping cream in kitty heaven.


The CEO said...

Hi Katherine, the lady who sent those flowers is an awesome friend who I cherish. As for the sledge hammer, it helps to deal with the anger in the grief cycle.

Hi Carrie, thank you so much. We need a happy reason to meet some place like Lexington, KY already.

Hi Puss, from your lips to G-d's ears. Thank you so much.

skinnylittlesister said...

Awwwww.....I so know taht unconditional love and that hope/thought/attempt to make everything better for our four-legged friends. And it sux to not win that battle, but we must remember the good Lord needs angels of all ages, sizes,speeds and strengths...
Much peace...