Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year!

It's 2009, hip hip hooray!

I had immediate dreams of winning a $384 bazillion lottery. With that much money, you build a compound, with a fantastic kitchen, I mean fantabulous, tons of counter space, walk in freezer, did I mention the personal chef that got hired? Then, I'd bring in Tiffany. I can afford to have the best in Physical Therapy, and she brings PB, an expert in Exercise Therapy with her. His son is still in Farmville (can you say Fahm vule). No problem, the G5 is parked 15 minutes away at the Gaithersburg FBO (that's fixed based operation or general operation airport). Also good for the quick trip to Toronto to see Echomouse on critical issues, like Teddy and the other cats, and the LBs, naturally. Very important.

Did I mention the heated swimming pool and custom gym in the lower area of one of the wings of the house?

Of course, even if I built two separate rooms as closet and shoe space for my wife, she would still need three quarters of my closet, wherever that closet was, for her clothes. I have empirical evidence, so please, I already know this. It's OK. In the new compound, I will have my own dressing room, with a retina lock on it.

Did I mention the exotic female vet who would live with us and the Persian girlfriend who would keep Jake company? Someone has to worry about a gourmet cat who thinks he should be fed pate everyday. He may have been fixed, but Jake has the non-stop energy to run day and night as it is, this is the time for a girlfriend, not when he's old and just wants to watch the birds playing football. I still run around with my girlfriend.

I'd also like a Lambourghini, and a 4 wheel drive Porsche Carrera. 

And I need a room with a 10 foot ceiling for a pole dancer, with a music system for the room. And a large room for tai chi and kung fu. And a green house, a fairly large one.

And several guest bedrooms, suites really. They could be more like a connecting house. What if Allan and Ali came with the kids? Each kid would need their own bedroom, and Allan and Ali deserve some privacy. And the master bedroom should have an immersion jacuzzi for 2 with a built-in whirl pool for relaxation. And each of the kid's rooms would need a separate bathroom, naturally. And you would need multiple internet connections in the guest house, because Allan takes so many pictures, you'd hate to have him run out of space. And the connecting tunnel to the main compund would be easy. It was 14 degrees out yesterday, and Allan is over 35. I'd hate to let something like bitter cold weather keep him from coming over for a nightcap. And worse, I can't wait to cook with Ali, she's way better than me, and I have this fabulous kitchen.......forget the professional chef for the time being. We're talking duck in it's own fat here.

The Meditating, Cogitating, Thinking Planning Room is where you go when, for example, Mel comes over and you want to sit with a couple of cups of coffee and reconcile existential philosophy with zen. Or decided if it's better to make snow angels in a six foot snow storm or a snow man. Or what the best thing to have with roasted chestnuts really might be. You know, the really critical things where you want to take your time and get things right.

The art work? By Franki, naturally. She's also my first choice to go get sushi with. I should try to see her again soon.

Then there's the scuba diving, and the compound in Costa Rica, funding the critical research in topics such as the best way to reheat french fries, but that the second multi-bazillion win, and I have yet to buy the first lottery ticket.

I guess I should resolve to just try to be a better person, and resolve to be here next year to write another New Years Day post. Have a great year everyone.


Mel said...

No, no, no.....I'm all about the compound!!

Though--I'm yet to have picked up a lottery ticket myself.....
Could we have a popcorn maker in The Meditating, Cogitating, Thinking Planning Room, please?

Purely for auromatherapy purposes, of course......

k.....that's a lie.


The CEO said...

Hi Mel, and wait until you see the Mel Suite, with the coffee maker and popcorn maker. I hope Orville Redenbakker is OK.

katherine. said...

its good to have a

M@ said...

I want a pole dancer, too.

Alison said...

I like the way you think! :)

Happy New Year.

Wicked H said...

You gotta play to win!

Never mind, let's just all have a good year with lots of martinis minus any liver damage.


The CEO said...

Hi Katherine, dreams sure are a lot more fun than working.

Hi M@, me too.

Hi Alison, want to start planning a menu?

Hi Wicked, can you get sick mixing martinis (regular, chocolate, etc.?)

Echomouse said...

I'm still crying from the previous post but this is awesome :) You dream better than anyone I know! lol

Glamourpuss said...

Happy New Year, lovely Monty. One request; could you make the ceiling a tad higher - I like my poles around three meters :-)


PhoenixHearse said...

Hey, with $384 bazillion, you think you could throw a measly $240K my way?

The CEO said...

Hi Carrie, I didn't even get into the solar-powered snow blowers and heated sidewalks. Wait, there's more....

Hi Puss, 13 foot ceilings it is, with a stage, foot lights, and me and M@ cheering.

Hi Heather, who do you think is designing the solar-powered snow blower?

Brook said...

I have had this exact same dream! Ok, ok it was full of my people and there were no underground walkways, but I like that and will-with your permission of course-incorporate them into any future dreams of this nature. Now I just need to go dig in the couch for a dollar. And then buy a ticket instead of chips. That'll be the hardest part.

NoRegrets said...

What about the rock climbing wall? Don't you know it's all about ME?

Happy new year! May it be.

Say It said...

Happy New Year CEO!

The CEO said...

Hi Brook, of curse you can use the tunnels, I borrowed the dream from you.

Hi NoR, I thought you'd just climb the various walls in the compund.

Hi Say It, Happy New Year!