Saturday, May 19, 2007

In Loving Memory Of Holmes



April 24, 1989 to May 19, 2007




Last Wednesday night, Holmes stopped eating and drinking for some unknown reason. It was almost as if she had forgotten how to do it. She'd put her face in the bowl and nothing would happen. She would smell the food, and then walk away. She stood in water and did nothing. I tried dripping water into her mouth and she fought me as if I were trying to put a pill down her throat.

We went to the vet at 9:30 AM this morning. Holmes weighed 2 pounds 11 ounces. The vet gave Holmes a complete exam and told us it was time to let her go. We had previously received the four points vets used from CMHL and knew this to be true, but I needed the professional support to make the decision. I held Holmes in my arms right to the very last second of her life. I could be there for her to make sure she wasn't scared. That was my responsibility, it was also my choice.

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.

Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.

We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan..."

"The Once Again Prince" from "Separate Life Times" Irving Townsend

I am always interested by the statistical argument that half of all marriages end in divorce. Most people never realize that the other half end when one partner dies. Either way, endings are tragic in nature, existential shall we say. Going to Houses of Mourning, and sitting and reminiscing have given me an insight and a way of turning the tragedy of death into something positive. In a single sentence, it's "remember I lived, forget that I died."

On Monday, I will make a donation to the local chapter of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Holmes' name. I can't think of a better way to honor her.

22 comments:

WanderingGirl said...

How lucky you, Holmes, and Judy were to have found each other. I am so, so sad for you loss. I know how deeply you will grieve. I hope that in the days to come you will remember all the wonderful memories you shared,and that when the cardinal comes looking for her, it will make you smile.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

cinders said...

I'm so sorry for this loss of yours, especially on top of everything else. But remember that she lived a long, beautiful life with people that loved her and she loved as well.

AmyTree said...

Oh sweetie...I am so sorry! She was loved, and I'm sure she knew. You and Judy were the finest family a kitty could have hoped for. xxx

Claudia said...

Ah, I'm so sorry. She was a sweetie and put up a good fight. I know she was a happy kitty.

Alison said...

Aww, so sorry. She waited for you to come home, though. *hugs*

My Reflecting Pool said...

You have been through so much lately, I am so sorry you lost a very dear friend and family member.

mist1 said...

Oh, Monty...I'm so sorry.

Allan said...

I'm so sorry.

I'm glad you stayed with her though.

They deserved to experience our love until the very end.

Deb said...

Hugs.

That's all, just hugs.

Wicked H said...

Monty and Judy:

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Having gone through this a little over a year ago myself, I know that everyone deals with this in their own way. Nothing any one of us can say can be of much comfort now but maybe in the days to come. I think your way of honoring Holmes is most beautiful and fitting.

The two of you keep taking care of each other.

Sending much love.

spoon said...

Losing a pet is a very difficult thing...I'm really sorry you had to put Holmes down. You guys have been through a fair bit lately, hang in there!!!!

Odat said...

Aww..I am truly sorry for your loss of precious Holmes. Like the others have said, he lived a wonderful life with the two of you. you should have no regrets, only happy memories. I too had a precioius big old orange cat named Jabba, who was only 6 years old when he developed all sorts of physical problems and had to let him go. I know the pain and heartache. But I try to remember how much fun he brought us. You too should remember that too!
Peace

cmhl said...

ohhhhhhhhh, this is the first time I have been online since last week---- so, so sorry to hear about sweet Holmes.. great big virtual hug to you and Judy...

I wish I had something to say that would make you feel slightly better, but my words are failing me. thinking of you..

MJ said...

Oh NO ! I am so sorry !!! sending hugs and keeping you in my thoughts

Matt said...

It's sad to think that we'll all part ways, sooner or later.

Sherri said...

I came over by way of Spoon. Sorry about your kitty. My cat died unexpectedly not too long ago, so I commiserate with you.

It seems you've been having more than your share of trouble, but you seem to have a good attitude about it, and that's the most important thing.

Sending you good vibes :)

Crankster said...

Again, I am so sorry. I'm not sure that there are too many things that are harder than putting a pet to sleep. Holmes was so lucky to have you watching out for her.

I send you warmest wishes.

Glamourpuss said...

Oh my goodness - how terrible. Poor you. It is so sad saying goodbye to our feline companions. Seventeen years is a lot of love.

Thinking of you.

Puss

Lee said...

Oh Monty...I am so very sorry. This totally sucks. Totally.

Desiree said...

God Bless Holmes, and her wondersous life, and that she got to share it with people who returned her love so fiercely.

My thoughts are with you, I am so sorry, you were lucky to have had such a rich and deep relationship.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I loved the lines about choosing to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own.

We held our gray wolf, Baby, when she had to be released to cancer. It was 10 years ago, but I still remember every detail so clearly.

She visits me in my sleep, as Holmes will visit you.

rebecca said...

i'm late coming to this...my computer was out for a week, then i lost all my bookmarks...and so i didn't know about this until today.

i'm so sorry. holmes will be missed. but boy did she have a great life, eh?

maybe in time you will open your heart to another. it is the most lovely kind of relationship anyone can have - a cat.