I am Jakenstein and I rule the known Universe. Just ask me. I am doing this because Monty says there are a few friends of his who want to see me, like a lady name Brook and Eris and maybe Elaine and Mel. Monty says that they all are redheads, and so am I, which makes them all good people in my book, and that's the book that counts. I'm also hoping for the Puss, because I have my own pole I dance on too!
I live with Monty and Judy. Monty ays I am having a problem with an Oedipal Complex and that I'll outgrow it. I say that one day he'll just finally give up and accept the inevitable. Monty has the scars to prove my point. Besides, Judy thinks I'm gorgeous. When Monty and I are battling, he calls me Numb Nuts. I have no idea why. Judy says I was fixed before I was six weeks old. One day someone will explain that to me, in the meantime, I have a little more strategy to go before I take over the house completely.
I was such a blue eyed sweet heart when I first arrived. Little did anyone know what was coming.
I am really a Marine. Three pounds of coiled fury waiting to be called up.
I ceaselessly practice one of my favorite tactics with Monty called 'attack the hand'. t also helps keep my teeth sharp. I am just as good on Monty's feet.
And like any good Marine, I can salute properly even when I'm sleeping. But when I am not being Tom Terriffic, I am best at playing Dr. Destructo, as you will see.
This is Monty's computer I am lying under. He thought it was cute and took a picture. While he was putting the camera away, I stood up, and dumped the compter on the floor. And knocked all the papers all over the floor along with the Diet Coke all over the papers. And when I jumped on the keyboard, I managed to change the fonts and the sizes. Monty didn't hear the computer fall since it hit the rug. Was he surprised. It took him a week to make the computer work right again. Good thing he has more than one.
I love chewing on that tree. I used to climb in it. Judy got scared when it would bend that it would break and skewer me. Both trees are now gone. Sometimes these humans are no fun at all.
I was waiting for Monty to get home hoping I could sneak out he door and get outside. I actually did it twice. He retaliated by taking me to the vet and having an electronic chip put in my neck. There are times Monty just does NOT fool around.
This is where I pole dance. I am actually about five plus feet off the ground. Monty built this little platform and put up this light for me so I could sort of sunbathe. Sometimes he can be so considerate. I can also sprint to the top and touch the eight foot ceiling. Damn I'm fast. And Monty says my nails are like ice axes. He ought to know.
This is Liz, Monty's sister-in-law. She retired from being a high muckity-muck at the Department of Energy. The guy in the background is Judy's brother, you can guess the rest. He retired from the Army and the State Department. Liz has long, dangling blond hair. Anything that dangles is a toy to me. Liz was more than willing so I preened her a little. She loves me. I bit him a couple of times. They have a parrot, they understood.
These are Monty's slippers. I have to admit, there not much that smells better than the smell of the inside of his slippers. I wish I could bottle that smell, I'd make a fortune. Channel has no idea what they are missing.
Monty took two portraits of me, the one above, #1, and the one below, #2 and I want to know which one you like best. Please let me know. By the way, I'm 7 1/2 pounds now and growing, though I'll never grow to the size of my feet. Something about being 'fixed' so young.
Well, it may be a while before you hear from Monty again. He is taking Judy into surgery on Thursday morning and he's a little nervous. As he explains it, he wouldn't be as worried if he was going into surgery, but its Judy, and that worries him. That and he is probably going to fold his business, and he hasn't figured out hat he's going to do next. He claims that the day of the cat cowboy has gone and that they aren't hiring bank tellers at the moment. I think I'll go see what Mel has written today. See you all soonest.