I am aware that mothers and occasionally fathers all over the World take care of children who cannot talk and are age two. I am aware that all children at this age are reptilian-brained, three headed monsters, incapable of thoughts beyond being feed since they are powered by a nuclear reactor that requires enriched fuel, and the removal of toxic waste. Part of the problem seems to stem from catching the kid who thinks it is a game to try to evade being caught to have his diaper changed.
If I had the requisite ladder, and the 35 pounds of M&Ms to bribe the kid, I would have attempted toilet training as an attempt to do something positive and to head off urges at aggravated harmicide. The theory being that it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. Imagine I said that with a Southern accent, and sounded exceptionally scholarly, and you'll know where I got it from.
I need to get some sleep now because I need to go shopping in the morning. I haven't got a clue how people raise children. There are no carbohydrates left in the house, no alcohol or beer, and I have gnawed the arm off on the recliner in my sleep. I haven't lost a single pound either.