Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Latest Update For Tuesday November 14th, 2006

07:30 am Down another pound after drinking an enormous amount of water for the week and not losing an oz. The Potomac River is at dangerously low levels. More to follow.

11:30 am I have returned from tai chi. It was just me and the Ancient One. We started working on long swords after the form today. It seemed smart to agree to never discuss politics again. We discussed allergies instead. It was a wonderful session!

Also, I have a confession to make. CMHL mentioned in comments here that she now drank 99% water, no diet soda, and 1% coffee. I confess that I did give up diet soda, but I cannot live without coffee. I have feet of clay, and weak flesh. I am maybe 150 pounds away from anorexia. Back to work.

3:19 pm I have another confession to make. The American male no longer reads books, and the American female no longer reads non-fiction. I still read books. My confession is that the last book that I read, and I am being serious here, is "Creme Brulee" by Sara Lewis. I will admit that I am sitting here sipping my water as if it were chablis, while fondling my creme brulee torch and aimlessly daydreaming. I do not count my review of "The Prince" by Machiavelli because the neighbor behind me with the cross between a doberman and a "fighting" dog pissed me off; nor do I count the Sunday morning review of Baysian Statistics for fun. I had already read those books.

4:00 pm The Dow, S&P bot6h close at record highs. The Nasdaq closes higher. Have you maxed your 401K? Funded your Roth IRA? Hugged someone you love recently? Commented rather than lurking?

5:00 pm The Republican Party just called and wanted to know if I'd vote for Rudy Giuliani for President in 2008. Given that the mid-term election was LAST TUESDAY, naturally, THIS TUESDAY is the start of the Presidential election campaign for 2008. I politely asked who he would be running against. The person on the phone said that they didn't know. I said that I didn't know if I could vote for him then. This started a waltz.
her: Well, do you like him for President?
me: I need choices, I can't make decisions in a vacuum
her: I don't understand
me: If I had to choose between Bush or Chaney and Rudy, Rudy wins hands down.
her: Mr. Bush can't run again
me: his father can
her: oh, I don't think he'd do that
me: promise?
her: well, I really can't do that. What about a Democrat?
me: which one?
her: I don't do Democrats.
me: we're back to Ground Zero
her: please don't say that
me: tell you what, put me down as a definite maybe considering
her: this doesn't feel right
me: want me to show you how to do it?
her: can you?
me: Ma'am, are you a registered Republican?
her: why yes I am, thank you for asking.
me: Of all of the Republican Candidates that you know of for President of the United States, would you say that Rudy Giuliani is your first choice?
her: he certainly is.
me: would you consider making a donation to his campaign, please
her: I think that would be a wonderful idea, where should I send the check?
me: I think you have the address right in front of you.
her: thank you so much, and have a good day!

6:00 pm There's a rumor that a teacher in Chantilly, VA is teaching an underground class in English grammar. Other teachers are flocking there, but can't find the school, not being able to correctly spell Chantilly for Mapquest. Details may follow.

21 comments:

rebecca said...

i feel your pain. i also can say 100% of my liquid intake is water. it's the good food i can't seem to put down these days. i think i have perpetual PMS. it's fun.

mist1 said...

Don't worry about the Potomac. I hear that the polar ice caps are melting.

Anorexia takes a lot of commitment, but if you're ready to take the plunge, I've got plenty of bad advice.

The CEO said...

Rebecca I share the problem

1 I'm thinking about it.

desiree said...

I haven't even gotten close to maxing out my 401K, but I have a plan. People will want to barter in things of value when it all comes crashing down so I am stocking up on Vodka and Ciggarettes. Worth their weight in gold when the economy crumbles.

The CEO said...

Des, I think you have a plan that will work! I'm going to make the vodka in the bath tub. I never thought of the cigarettes, I don't smoke.

Glamourpuss said...

I always suspected right-wing politics attracted the stupid. How much was the cheque for? But yourself a good Chablis with it.

Puss

Crankster said...

CEO, this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. I especially liked the discussion with the polltaker--pure genius.

Also, I grew up near Chantilly and learned grammar from my French teacher.

misanthropster said...

I'm a human female (or at least was, at last check) and I still read books. Oh, and non-fiction. In fact, non-fiction is almost exclusively what I read because I've been so damn disappointed in fiction these days.

sigh.

And your conversation with the republican is pure genius.

cmhl said...

I think you should add Asher Lev (even though you didn't like it!) to your list of completed books. ASSUMING that it has been completed?

The CEO said...

Puss- come have some Chablis with me.

Crankster - I want a break from Presidential politics, I need the sanity. Thanks for the kind words. Je ne parle pas Francais.

Misanthropster - I am not educated enough to know. I either like it or I don't. You, on the other hand, are way ahead of me. I defer to your judgment.

Thanks for the compliment!

CMHL - How did you give up coffee and survive? My hands shake. My heart palpitates. And I sweat like a stuck pig.

I liked "My name is Asher Lev" by Potok which I got from you, but I liked "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Golden even better, which I also got from you. That was last year. Got anything new?

Pickled Olives said...

I can honestly say I drink 99% coffe and 1% diet coke or seltzer. I am counting points therefore should be 100% water. Bah.

And excuse me, but where was this fabulous dialog when I got the call form republican headquarters??? At least I now have a form to go by too!!

rebecca said...

oh i so enjoy your updates! :)

do you ever tell what you taught as a professor?

The CEO said...

Olives- Not to worry, the Democrats are no better, and they will be calling any minute now.

Rebecca - Programming, Database Management, Project Management, and once, Research Methodology. I wanted to teach Linear Regression once but my department chair said, "dissertation, asshole, you can have fun after you graduate." He was a fantastic guy, and where I learn to love the English. Really. I did learn to love High tea elsewhere. Ed never had time for it.

WanderingGirl said...

I vote we all write in the CEO. After all, who has more wisdom/knowledge/BS built up than our 900+year old fearless leader?

MJ said...

YEP... what THEY said ..... hehehehe

The CEO said...

WG- I don't lead, and I give you the highest quality bs I have. Wisdom is in short supply.

mj- It's good to see you up and about. You and the Great Danes are going to have your hands full with the new puppies.

Matt said...

daisy does democrats.

The CEO said...

Matt- I have never met Daisy

WanderingGirl said...

Oh man! It ate my comment!

I DO SO stop by every day! Check a stat counter (I don't have one, and don't know how it works, but I'm pretty sure it magically tells you when I stop by, which is daily.)

And BS is clearly an integral factor in becoming our fearless leader. It's the only common quality any of the politicians have.

The CEO said...

WG- don't ever change. I need you, and your blog precisely the way they are. Don't change it either.

WanderingGirl said...

Okay, but only because you insist!