It's always good to talk to you again. It's been too long since our last talk. Things have just piled up a bit and some things have started bothering me, so I thought I'd book an appointment, so to speak, and see if I could work a few things out. I know how analytic you are, so if you don't mind, I think I'll begin.
First of all, the news. This dorky guy Federline is offering to sell sex tapes that he made of him and his wife for $30 million. Her name is Britney Spears. They're supposed to be like four hours long. I cannot begin to tell you how not interested I am in those tapes, much less than for $30 million. I'm not interested in sex tapes of me at any price, why would I want them of him? Is there something wrong with me?
Next, the lady that lives behind me, the one with the 'killer' dog that she sic'd on me that tried to scare me last Spring. I have to tell you that I have no idea how the small herd of deer suddenly showed up in her back yard this morning. Ate all her brand new shrubs and bushes. They were really chowing down all morning from the early hours doc, you should have seen 'em. She tried to get that pit bull to chase them out of the yard, but he was no match for those deer. They peed and dumped all over her yard, and then jumped her fence and went right to the next yard and ate their shrubs too. Peed all over their yard too, then left. You should have heard the second neighbor screaming at the first neighbor. I have no idea what they were saying, but I'm pretty sure that the deer will be back. I wish they would eat some of the ivy in my back yard. Maybe some deer pee back there would work too. I doubt of the deer will want ivy when they can have delicious shrubbery.
One more thing Siggy. I have developed this thing over the name Lola. The name is sensuality itself. Sends electric waves up and down my spine. go ahead, say it with me one. "Lola". Is that not about as sexy as it gets. Lola. Makes me thing of garter belts and stockings with that seam up the back, and a pole. Maybe I should reconsider the sex tapes. What do you think doc? Is there any hope for me?