Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Phone Call

me: Hello
(the red headed female sexual goddess of my dreams since puberty hereafter known as the Goddess or 'her' is on the phone)
her: Hi, me again

me: How's it been?
her: fine, I have a few questions for you, if you don't mind?

me: I have never minded anything you've wanted since I created you all those years ago.
her: thank you, you've always been my biggest fan! You've really been into the existentialism lately, haven't you. What's wrong?

me: Why do you think there's something wrong?
her: Take yesterday's post. You're trying to give everyone therapy and teach existential theory at the same time. That's a tall order for anyone, particularly for people you can't even see.

me: If I was going to do that, I'd ask them to write their own obituary, wouldn't I? Nice try Goddess, I'm impressed. I'm really just sharing here.
her: Sharing? You're trying to beat the system existentially, we're all alone, you know. We use sex to break the illusion of being alone, because we're temporarily connected. But, we're all alone, and we all suffer.

me: Now you know how much I like sex, Goddess, and you know how much I practice. I need to check to see if I can get my insurance to pay for repetitive stress syndrome for masturbation staying in shape. But you're looking at this like a literary intellectual, which I respect. There was a psychologist named Kennedy at Harvard back in the 50's who said that humans had three motives, reasons to move or do things, affiliation, power, and achievement. I'm just sharing so I can affiliate with some people. Perfectly acceptable existentially.

her: psychology? So what are you really trying to get away with here?
me: I was thinking about getting people to write a piece about a woman and her struggles.

her: Really? Why a woman? And why her struggles?
me: I think a little bigger than normal. I keep hearing that famous actresses keep bitching that there's no material written for them to showcase their talents. What I learned form blogging is that there are a ton of people who can write out there. Better than I could ever hope to write. And write a piece. The only rule is it's about a woman/women.

her: And then?
me: I publish the winner here to undying fame and adulation!

her: you will figure out how to announce this?
me: I'll ask the board.

her: And judging it?
me: I'll ask the board.

her: why do you think anyone will do it?
me: did you read the comments? CMHL told everyone the I-R Model (Internal-Role Model) in Psychology in two sentences, spoon laid out reality in that no one know what's coming, we all just react to whatever happens, Claudia and almost everyone else talked about the need to take risk. They don't need me at all. I look like Caspare Milkqtoast in this group. Even Puss is in there. Tell you what, I'll ask them to sign up. OK, maybe tomorrow. Let me think about this.

What I wrote above is a sort of existential play, and it also starts a discussion about what I have in mind for a writing idea. I'm sure most of you can write better than me. What do you all think?

21 comments:

MJ said...

I keep hearing that famous actresses keep bitching that there's no material written for them to showcase their talents???

OK maybe I am feeling a little bitchy ( it is the snow I swear) but why the hell can’t these famous actresses write there own material.

I am damn talented … and a bit conceded too!! And still on pain meds so maybe this entire this is over my head??

Maybe I need more awesome coffee??

mist1 said...

I think I might be feeling a little bitchy too. Thinking of a woman and her struggles makes me feel all existentially angsty. That's too close to home.

Of course, I am writing this from my tax attorney's office. It doesn't seem to be doing anything for my mood.

I am having dinner with Jean-Paul tonight. I'll have to see if he can find some inherent meaning in all this.

cmhl said...

I think you are on a roll-- these last two posts have been extremely thought provoking. I took much mulling for me to come up with my comment on the last post, and I had no clue I was summarizing a theory. See, I are smart!! (sorry ali) hahaha.

Claudia said...

i'll have to consult my inner diva...

The CEO said...

It's definitely my writing. *I* am the one imposing the restriction, and I am a man. I did share with you the reason why I did it, but, it's *my* restriction, and I'll take responsibility for it.

MJ said...

I am just overly bitchy that is all ....

mist1 said...

Jean-Paul says he doesn't believe in inherent meaning.

The CEO said...

mj- not to worry, with all those crazy Eastern drivers out there in the snow, and not enough good coffee; come visit, I have a pound of Starbucks sitting here, we can drink coffee and laugh at my neighbor all day.

Mist- I don't believe in inherent meaning to life except maybe a divine spirit and the red headed Goddess. I have to believe in that.

Lee said...

sheesh...couldn't you have asked why cows are sacred in India?

Claudia said...

The cow in India are probably easier to figure out...my inner diva concurs...

123Valerie said...

Jefe, if you're defining our struggles as "finding ourselves and our paths" I think it would be hard for most women to expound on that.

Unfortunately, it seems to be the general female plight to focus on other's first.

So, if you made an open call, "Hey Ladies, tell me about struggling to find your way in this world," I dare say many of the responses would include other people.

My parents made it so tough for me.

My husband didn't support me.

My friends were never there for me.

Blah, blah, blah. Perhaps I misconstrued your perameters, though.

I'm surprised you don't believe in an inherent meaning to life, either. I mean, outside of grand abstracts, I'm not sure I do either. But, I'm just surprised, is all.

spoon said...

Hell, if we could just get guys to understand the physical distress caused by period pain and child birth then we'd be halfway there!!!!!!!

Pickled Olives said...

I need some time to talk to existential Pickled Olives and we will get back with you. Maybe writing ones own obit would be easier... I need parameters...

Lee said...

I already had to write my own obit for school...I was immediately cannonized.

The CEO said...

I need to adapt to this 24 hour cycle we're having. I'll get there, but please remember, I'm not that smart.

rebecca said...

milquetoast. damn, i love that word.

100 points for you for using it!

Clare said...

GREAT post and I love the line about the actresses and bitching.

Glamourpuss said...

If it's red-headed goddesses you're after, there are two of us over at my blog. You only had to say. I can do existentialism, humanism, Romanticism and eighteenth-century political theory. Good at all that sex stuff, too.

Puss

The CEO said...

Rebecca- thanks for noticing!
clare- will you be writing a piece too, please?
Puss- are you flirting with me? Please.

Echo Mouse said...

I so cannot wait to read how this turns out! lol Awesome idea.

Me...yea well my angst is out there in blogland and actively whipping my ass so...that will have to do :)

Glamourpuss said...

Always. It's a gift.

Puss