Friday, December 15, 2006

You Have To Keep Playing

As things are starting to wind down for folks, we have a pretty nice sample going so far about what you think would cause a relationship to end. The vast majority described a personal experience. You can describe a relationship, but it must be someone else's relationship. Less personal.

End of a relationship. Two people may not be able to divorce because of their religious belief, but I can assure you that the relationship is over. We have all been in relationships that have ended. Some of us knew it, some of us didn't. That's part of what we're looking at. I'll put this up now, and leave it over the weekend. Please make sure you have commented in the previous post, and this post for comparison.

Here's Gottman's self-help tips if you want a reference point.

Thanks, and have a fabulous weekend!


Jocelyn said...

Hey: good news: I actually did comment on someone else's relationship for the other post, so my homework is done! (marches out to her locker for a shot of whiskey)

Pickled Olives said...

I can safely say a marriage is over when one partner goes to the casino to "spend" all their money at the tables. But what they are really doing is taking money out of the account throuh atm machines at the casino (to make it look like they are gambling all the money away) when they are really putting it into the new girlfrien/boyfriend account. to hide it from the wife during possible divorce proceedings.

Crankster said...

I think it would have to be betrayal. This wouldn't necessarily be infidelity; actually, I can imagine situations in which infidelity wouldn't be betrayal at all. Rather, this would be consistently and significantly lying to me, ceasing to care for me, that sort of thing.

Lee said...

well that's a pretty tall order, trying to figure out when someone else's relationship ended. doesn't it kind of depend on the couple? what might end a relationship for me wouldn't necessarily end it for others. i've become such a curmudgeon, i've ended relationships before they even started.

i would, for instance, figured that my ex-husband's relationship with this new wife was over when:

1. she took away all his friends
2. checked his email and monitored his phone calls
3. got him disinherited from his parents
4. got him slapped by my lawyer a few times
5. when she left him
6. when she left him again
7. when his kids started wondering why she was more important than them
8. when she left him again, again

but no...the relationship wears on. i think they must like it. i don't get it.

Claudia said...

what i had said is pretty much based on others'....i've never been married...

Matt said...

I love how people, usually women, refer to the "relationship" as a third entity, outside of both individuals.

It's nobody's fault, the relationship just ended. Why?!

cmhl said...

betrayal can take many forms, the least of which is adultry. the more non-tangible versions are harder to get over.

One point of contention--- it is much much harder to say "my line in the sand is HERE! I would never put up with THIS!" when there are small children involved.

rebecca said...

not sure what the question is in this post/episode...

and how can one comment on why someone elses marriage really ended? only the two involved really know. my comments in the other post were from my own experience, not from others.

Glamourpuss said...

Personally, CEO, I believe no one ever knows what goes on in someone else’s relationship, so I wouldn’t feel equipped to comment.