I have called this meeting to tell you that I have figurered out how the United States will be invaded. All that need be done is to wait for a day when it rains just before rush hour in Washington, DC. We have pretty accurate forecasts letting us know when it will rain, so this plan should be pretty easy to execute.
Check your contingent of troops into the Hay-Adams Hotel across the street from the White House. Hope the rain starts by 6:00 am. If it is Monday, by 6:30 am, traffic will be hopelesssly snarled. If it is Tuesday Wednesday or Thursday, it will take until 6:45 am. If it is Friday, things are unpredictable. If it's Springtime, and a Friday, things are totally out of control to begin with. Let's just say that an imaginative 5', 22 year old woman with a mascara brush and two pair of nylons can turn a 22 year old veteran Marine Corp (or other service branch) sergeant into wimpering jelly in short order in the Springtime. Other seasons, it might require throwing in a feather, not that I have any knowledge of this kind of thing, mind you. It'd take several more minutes to do me in.
If your troops storm the White House Gates before 7:00 am and it is raining, there's noi chance that the first shift could have arrived yet. So, there will only be the late night skeleton force there. The trick is taking over the White House, and getting the President to surrender while no one can get anywhere bcause no one in Washington can drive in the rain. If it snows, you can forget it, You just stay in the hotel until things clear up and wait for the rain to come. When it snows in DC, everything shuts down, and you couldn't storm the gates. Sorry, we close down when it snows, this is the Nation's Capitol. We may try to drive home, but we just park the car wherever we are and go to the nearest hotel and stay until the thaw comes. Hopefully they have a well stocked bar and restaurant.
I'm glad we had this little talk. Have a nice day.