Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Little Traveling Music, Please

Just a few little administrative things to take care of before we get down to business this morning. It may be a bit premature, but SECRET GIRLFRIEND IS BACK FROM GETTING MARRIED in the Bahamas. This announcement may be a trifle premature as she doesn't have a post up yet. On the other hand, rumor has it that no one killed anyone else in the wedding party during the entire two week event. I think this bodes well for the happy couple.

Now, if you happen to be wearing a pair of vibrating panties with the hidden battery pack and remote control as described by Mist1 in a recent post, you will probably want to disengage from the battery pack pretty soon or at least be well insulated. Alison found this amazing resource and you just have to try it. I don't want to bias you for your own test of this resource, but I am using several responses when I discuss expanding our sexual horizons. I also asked the computer if we might marry. We're dating now.

June Bug lives in Utah and writes things like this post. I find her writing extremely appealing. When she wrote that people typically didn't like her when they first meet her, I knew I really liked her a lot. I love the Internet. And, if anyone sees Phoenix Hearse, this lady June Bug in Utah, which I hear is just north of Arizona, has three (3) Great Danes.

Which brings me to the point of this post. My singing. Ever since I was in grade school, it was obvious to anyone who heard me that I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. I can, and will sing with great enthusiasm, but nothing that resembles musicality. I am best in large choirs, like the one that gathers every year in Times Square in New York City on New Year's Eve to sing in unison. I will tend to blend well with them, particularly the Jack Daniel's section. I can't find my rendition of Auld Lang Syne on YouTube for your viewing pleasure from the Year 2000 when I was home with the wife singing along, because I had the flu. Now there was real entertainment! Plus, there is no better known cure for the flu than swilling Jack Daniels, or single malt scotch, while holding a cup of tea, which is where the medicinal value comes from. Naturally. But, I digress.

Now, normal people would get down in the mouth about this, and get depressed. I started seranading women. They would scream, "shut up!" and I'd say, "Only if you kiss me!" and I'd start singing again. Now, If you can keep your hands free to block and ward off slaps and punches as your voice rises to hit that ever elusive high L note, you have it made.

This technique can also work wonders on the wife. "Gee Honey, I'd like a new car", she surprised me with the other day. "You have a brand new company car from the place where you work" I pointed out, and then I launched into one of the solos from the Marriage of Figaro. She surrendered before the third Figaro. I hadn't even warmed up yet.

But the ultimate was when my old neighbor lived across the street from me. He had this beautifull chocolate Lab. There were times my neighbor couldn't get home in time to take the dog out for his constitutional. He;d call me, and I'd go over and get Duke, and we'd go out for a walk. As soon as we'd clear 'our' block, we'd sing together. Good old Duke appreciate Beethoven, and I'd sing "Ode to Joy" to him in German. He'd howl at the moon, or the sun, or the stars, any heavenly body would do. Pretty soon, every dog on the block was howling. The neighbors would come out with $20 bills to ask me not to sing. I'd wave, and we'd go down the block and go on to the next stanza, and repeat the process, until Duke was very satisfied, and I was pretty sure he wouldn't make a mess. We'd trot home, amid the cheers and applause. Duke passed away, and the neighbors have moved away. But, I still love music, and dogs and cats, naturally.

15 comments:

MonkeyLover said...

Stick with the facsimile thereof, because acting growed up is soooo over-rated :)

mist1 said...

Nobody says "reasonable fascimile" any more. It's like asking somebody to use the ditto machine.

Chollyson said...

June Bug is the one who lives in Utah with the 3 Great Danes.

June Bug said...

Aww the love...

thank you !!

The CEO said...

Thank you for your patience, and the geographical correction. The rest of the post is up now.

cmhl said...

Duke sounds like such fun!!

I had a beagle that would howl along with me when I would sing. The best part was the intense, meaningful look she would have on her face when she was attempting a particularly intricate vibrato.

Alison said...

Everyone knows that in order to cure the flu, you need Kentucky bourbon, not Tennessee hooch.

cmhl said...

ha!!!!!!!

desiree said...

Duke sounds like he enjoyed your outings.

WanderingGirl said...

Like you, I love to sing, I don't sing well, and I sing with great gusto to (over)compensate for my lack of tune-carrying ability. My neighbors love me. Especially early in the morning, as I walk the dog at 5:30. It helps the cat keep track of us and know she doesn't have to slay the dragon that killed me while out walking.

cinders said...

Who are you dating? Alison? Or your computer?

Alison said...

He's dating Ms. Dewey, methinks.

The CEO said...

Alison is more like my kid sister who speaks French. cooks French, and dazzles Allan all the time. Check her blog for more detail. Check the blogroll for Alison. You'll know her when you get there.

rebecca (secret girlfriend) said...

thank you for the congrats on the nuptuals. :) i am very happy to be home.

post up soon about my 2 week excursion and then the drama that has ensued upon my return :eyes rolling:

now, about your singing. i too sing all the time, and even on key, but more for joy than to be on key or anything. my cats and dogs like the songs i make up for them - especially the 6 month old puppies who don't even care when i'm singing this tune in a sweet nice voice, "Shut the F up, you loud mother-f'ers!!, you're barking is driving me crazy!! just a couple minutes of quiet isn't too much to ask!" or "you're really stupid and don't even know or care, but you're cute!!" i've found that in a nice tune, no one cares what the words are. and in your case, if you're on key or not. just sing if it makes you or anyone (feline or canine) happy.

mist1 said...

Ah, he old sing until she stops talking about a new car technique...