Today it finally happened. I hit the wall. The gloom descended. My head turned into a polka-playing accordion from hell. Nothing productive came out of the brain. I paced, I fumed, I talked to The Cat. I sought inspiration in all the usual places. Neither Jack nor Jim had anything to offer. I actually didn't have any Jim Beam in the house, but that's another issue.
I tried blogging, reading all these other blogs, looking for inspiration. Zero, zip, zilch, nada. And there's this one woman who is so much better than me, so much funnier, so much faster, so much better with words, enormously attractive, smarter than me and all my CPUs. I was totally outclassed. Overmatched. Outwitted. Zeflufficated.
Hysteria set in.
So, I did the only thing humanly possible for me. I went to the kitchen, made a little snack, and went upstairs and got under the covers and hid. I started with a little soup from my little thermos. And I had a little of my tuna fish on toast, with a little cheese on it. And since I was an anxiety eater, I put a little pate on top, because if I tried putting it on crackers, there's be a high speed death, and this little story would be over. And then it hit me, the solution. And I could end this little travesty of senseless craziness, illustrative of my grief, my inability to get a little solace in my own bed. I wasn't even a pale imitation of the 'real thing', and therein lay the solution. I finished my little snack and started to leap out of bed.
Suddenly, my wife rolled over and said something in Russian. Startled, I said, "what are you trying to say?" This, naturally, woke her up. She wanted to know what was wrong. I simply responded, "The blog needs freshening up, some young blood, some life." As she was drifting off, she said, "call one of your bloggy buddies on your board..." I did tell her sleeping body that it was blogger buddies, but she didn't hear me.
So, I fired off a fast plan to Alison, and I am waiting for her to get back to me. A merger, or a hostile take over, something that might make me laugh again. I can't wait to see what she says. Ali knows about everything worth . She knew there were really six (6) mother sauces, not five (5) when I didn't. And that's why there's no meeting today. Maybe Ali has something up?