Saturday, September 23, 2006

More Rules

I called this emergency session to inform you that I do not check SAT scores before letting you comment here. I know that yesterday I got a little out of hand actually touching reality, talking about a meeting I actually went to, with people that actually live and breath. The guy with the panty hose is real. The woman who wants a strategic relationship is just as real.

The big reason they don't know about blogging is because they are too busy. There are several real reasons they are afraid of blogging. The ones with kids are worried about the information that goes out there, and stays out there forever. Storage is cheap. The others worry that their competition will discover their trade secrets if they put it on the net. Of course the fact that they ask their customers what other firms do doesn't give them heart failure for some reason, but that's not why we're here. As far as being outted. I don't think so. For the business, I'll build another blog if I have to, or show people other business blogs.

But I did not decide to write this blog for the business community. I got a bazillion reasons (the abbreviation for bazillion appropriately is BZ), and my own laughter is close to the top. I like laughing. I worry about going over the top, over the hill, over the dale, and over the wall. So, I have friends who write comments that say, "Asshole, you have exceeded all bounds of taste, style, and acceptable behavior." I give it the pout test. If I am pouting, they must be right, and I delete it. Notice the lack of heavy intellectual repartee involved. Of course, I reserve the right to say, "nah, nah, nah, nah, nah" and the discussion continues. Furthermore and notwithstanding, there is no limitation on the number of comments you may make. I am The CEO, and I ought to know.

I have come to decide that this is the appropriate way to run this firm, er blog as a result of reading the entire Constitution of the United States of America.

Next, there is no requirement that you agree with me. I think that stands by itself. If you need me to explain it, leave a comment (Wasn't that just ingenious).

A corollary. This one is going to slay you, get ready for it. I'm married. I really, really, really prefer women. Part of the reason is I grew up with women, and no men. I really like to cook, something my wife has been trying to break me of doing. Women say to her, "are you crazy?" and she says "....he doesn't do anything you can eat and lose weight." We fight over things like the dish washer. I hate it. I won't use it. I have rule. My knives do not go in the dish washer, EVER. NEVER. NOT EVER. See what I mean. The average guy has passed out by now. Woman who know a 7" santoku from a 3 1/2" paring knife are standing with me chanting "you hand wash them, then hand dry them" and I'm standing here saying "TEAM". So, you rarely find me with guys. Don't let that stop you. I sharpen my knives while I watch football.

Then there are those of you that put wasabi on pbj sandwiches. Stick with the sliced ginger, you'll like it better. Now, you can use the wasabi with some nice salmon cat food, along with some soy sauce and I'm talkin' downtown eating!

Last, and this is important. You need not be a resident of the United States to comment here. Nope, not a requirement. Can you imagine if the people of the world found out that the other people of the world were all pretty much alike, and that it was their leaders that were assholes, all their leaders,........fuck it, I'm into laughing.


Alison said...

Boy, I am RELIEVED. I was a little worried. I thought for sure you were a knife-in-the-dishwasher guy.

So glad to hear you're not. :)

mist1 said...

All that cooking/dish washing stuff is over my head. It's just one area where we differ.

The other major area (besides preferring women) is this line "there is no requirement that you agree with me." Who are you?

Everyone must agree with me. If they don't, I wait. They will come around.

The CEO said...

I practice guerilla tactics, sort of stalking. You just go stomping right in there, and they worship you. Everyone loves a dominant woman. The boots and cape help too.

cinders said...

Don't forget the belt. A cape is useless without a good belt to accent it.